From Burned Out to Lit Up: 3 Keys to Your Inner Glow Part 2
Self-Abandonment- why you abandon yourself, how to begin rewriting the pattern, and start rekindling your inner glow
SHIFT 1: THE 3 ROOT CAUSES OF SELF-ABANDONMENT
Self-awareness is key.
Self-abandonment doesn’t always look like chaos. Sometimes it looks like chronic achievement, always being the "cool girl," or ghosting your own needs until the resentment becomes intolerable.
But underneath it all? You’re exhausted from being everything to everyone. You smile wide while quietly swallowing your needs like broken glass. Here’s why it shows up:
1. Fear of Rejection or Disapproval
Somewhere along the line, you learned that love was conditional. If you performed well enough, stayed small enough, or didn’t rock the boat, then you’d stay safe. Now, your nervous system freaks out at the idea of disappointing anyone. You say “yes” even when every cell in your body is screaming “no.”
2. Confusing Self-Worth with External Validation
You’ve spent years earning gold stars for being the high achiever, the fixer, the one who has it all together, but deep down, it feels empty. You’re tired of living for the next compliment, milestone, or text back that proves you’re enough.
3. Lack of Boundaries and Self-Trust
Saying “no” feels dangerous. You second-guess yourself, over-explain, and people-please. You’ve spent so long prioritizing other people’s comfort, you’re not even sure what you want anymore.
Sound familiar? You’re not broken. You’re just burned out from betraying your own needs.
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Exercise: Awareness Check-In
Set a timer for 5 minutes and ask yourself:
• When was the last time I said “yes” when I wanted to say “no”?
• What story did I tell myself about what would happen if I spoke up?
• How did my body feel (i.e. tight chest, jaw clenching)?
• What would it look like if you had the chance to do it again?